Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Another Email--source unknown

As many of us mourn and honor Pope John Paul II perhaps a little levity is not out of bounds. While Christians everywhere celelbrate the life of the Pope and are certain of his entry into heaven and his welcome by our Lord, this story about the intellectually challenged Forrest Gump may bring a smile to the reader.

The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the
>Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and
>Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's
>certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you,
>though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an
>entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass
>it before you can get into Heaven."
>
>Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But nobody
>ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard;
>life was a big enough test as it was."
>
>St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
>questions.
>
>First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?


>Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
>
>Third: What is God's first name?"
>
>Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and
>sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance
>to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
>
>Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with
>the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow.
>
>The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was
>thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll
>give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.
>"! How many seconds in a year?"
>
>"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that a
>nod I guess the only answer can be twelve."
>
>Astounded, St . Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name
>could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
>
>Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd,
>March 2nd. . ."
>
>"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and
>I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. But I'll
>have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and
>final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
>
>"Sure," Forrest replied, "its Andy."
>
>"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can
>understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but
>just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name
>of God?"
>
>"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it
>from the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I
>AM HIS OWN. . . ."
>
>St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."
>
>Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
>Give me the grace to see a joke,
>To get some humor out of life,
>and pass it on to others.
>

1 comment:

  1. Oh Pat, that was so cute. In The Garden is one of my favorite songs. It's one of many my mother sang to me when I was a child, and I sang to my own children. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete