IF ONLY

John Kerry has said his convention will be positive. The first night did eliminate our president’s name for the most part. Any problem we face as a nation is now just not the fault of President Bush it is the entire Republican party.

The Republicans have moved our economy from one of surpluses to huge deficits. I did not realize the Republicans were spending all that money alone. The large amounts of tax payer money that went to the survivors of 9/11, the money that has been spent in defense of other countries as peace keepers, the money that has been spent on homeland security, the war on terror, etc. are all Republican spending and the Democrats had nothing to do with it. I am so glad that the Democrats have clarified that.

I guess I am mistaken that the terrorists managed to build up their strength over years. Those cunning devils only took nine months to develop and execute their plans once those terrible Republicans took office and had a majority in congress. How could I have missed all of that. I guess I forgot how great we were doing as a nation with the strong MORAL leadership of Clinton-Gore.

If only President Bush had not pushed all of those trade agreements, jobs would not have gone overseas. If only President Bush had thoroughly examined the worthiness of our intelligence and rescinded all of the rules that were hindering the sharing of information within the various intelligence agencies, sought out better leadership in intelligence, and gotten the spies embedded in the terrorists groups. If only he had offered to pay France, Germany and Russia the money they would lose from food for oil, they might have gone along with the US and preserved our warm, mutually supportive relationships. We would not have had to rely on the puny coalition with such inconsequential countries like Britain and Australia that thought Saddam was long overdue to prove to the world he had eliminated all WMD . President Bush should not have listened to John Kerry saying that Saddam was a threat to the world and could not be allowed to continue. If only President Bush had rejected the vote to give him the responsibility to decide when to declare war and waited for the lengthy debates that would have given us a much better plan to eliminate Saddam. Well, actually, we probably didn’t need to trouble Iraq with war. We could have talked to Saddam and asked that he please stop torturing and killing his own people and instead just use humiliation techniques like Rummy personally promoted. If only President Bush had not LIED to the American people about Saddam seeking to buy uranium from Niger, about al Qaeda operatives talking with Iraq leadership and terrorists being granted refuge in Iraq. If only the Republicans would have seen the wisdom in focusing on UBL as the sole leader of terrorists. We could have examined every cave until we brought this one person to justice, and there would be no need to seek out other terrorists or countries that had harbored and supported them. Without UBL we could rest easy knowing that the WOT was over. If only the Republicans would have left Iraq alone, the Iraqi minutemen would not have had to defend their “nation” by IED, car bombs, RPGs and other means which kill the infidel Iraqis who mistakenly want freedom and a chance for government determined by the people.

If only the Republicans had continued with the economic policies of the previous administration our surplus would have continued to grow and all Americans would have health care of the same quality and quantity currently enjoyed by all elected officials. Perhaps, Social Security would be joined with the retirement plans of elected officials and prove that our leaders put the needs of individual citizens ahead of their own personal agendas. Perhaps congress would vote in pay cuts for themselves so that monies would be more available to help the masses. The former president wants to donate $500,000 of his tax cut to help pay for our defense expense. I guess he will rally the other truly wealthy to help put our nation back in the black. I am quite sure that despite the pre-nup, John Kerry will be able to encourage the Heinz clan to donate humongous amounts of money and promise to avoid any tax loophole in the future.

If only, The Patriot Act had never been suggested. I would feel so much better that no one could ever know that I on occasion borrow novels from my local library. I could be assured that my phone is in no danger of being tapped so that my conversations about my family, my pets and all the highly confidential conversation is never heard by the government spies who are determined to undermine my rights. If drug deals, terrorist plans, research on how to undermine the USA is to be monitored, this must be done in such a way that my rights are not infringed in even the slightest way. If my country falls apart because of this, so be it. My individual rights are more important than any attempt to restrict the movements of the criminal or terrorist elements that may threaten the totality of the USA. I have enjoyed these rights for 69 years and I am unwilling to give them up just because those Republicans want to have absolute power and are unwilling to cater to my personal desires.

If only President Bush would learn to speak with more nuance and less plain talk. That plain talk just made him understandable and made his lies so seemingly rational that the average American believed him. We, the masses, believed we were at war when he said that following 9/11. If only he had apologized for his nine months of misguided leadership that had led those heroic Islamofacists to give their lives in order to bring down those towering symbols of American arrogance. If only he would apologize now for taking the WOT to the mideast instead of fighting on our home ground. Athletes could have told him there is an advantage to having the game on your home field. Our military, having been forced to volunteer knowing that they would never have to defend us, would be closer to home and family instead of being in an inhospitable foreign land. We would have saved the vast amount of money spent on transporting troops and war materials so far from home. We would have time to let contracts and in two or so years, we could begin rebuilding our nation with the lowest bidder. This also would create jobs here at home as we rebuild our schools, hospitals, financial institutions. 

If by some chance, the radical Muslims won, we would also get rid of all those job stealing females taking jobs away from men and making our schools so crowded with all of those little girls who really have no need for education. We would have safer roads since driver’s would only be males who saw the fallacy of their misguided religion be it Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, Atheist, Agnostic or whatever made them such infidels. Population would decline for awhile due to ridding the world of infidels, but soon the population would increase as women assumed their rightful place as baby factories.

Alas, the entertainment industry would be decimated since they are so guilty of amusing the nation with movies, music, rap and sex. They also have had a belief that they could say and do the most outrageous things without any censorship that I fear they would be called infidels. Bars, distillers and breweries would once again be prohibited. The N Y Times could no longer be the truth purveyor they are so well known for. They would be forced to follow the radical Muslim line or cease to be.

If only President Bush had not been on such a power trip looking out for his rich buddies and instead looked out for American interests, it only he had listened to the combined wisdom of the Democrats, the United Nations and above all France. We would now be RESPECTED! Oh, the perfidy of those Republicans.